NOT IN SIGNS By Barbara Hughes
When faced with important decisions, who of us have not wished the heavens would open and divinely disclose the answer to a particular dilemma. It would surely make decision making easier – or would it?
I have to admit that I was entertaining similar thoughts the other morning as I walked along the beach, wrestling with a couple of decisions that were facing me. Having gone back and forth several times, with no clear answer in sight, the question, “Should I or shouldn’t I” continued to play over and over in my mind.
Within minutes of revisiting my quandary, I stopped to pick up a piece of sea glass that was lying on the sand in front of me and as I examined it, I burst our laughing. There in raised letters on a piece of broken glass, no bigger than the size of a quarter was the word, “NO”. Was this sheer coincidence or sheer nonsense; the voice of God or simply superstition? Hmmm!
Could God really be speaking to me in the piece of glass that was lying in my hand? No doubt God could arrange such a happening, but I had my doubts if such was the case in this particular instance. First of all, as I considered what some might regard as the answer staring me in the face, the only thing that came to mind was the story that Jesus told the crowd about the rich young man who had ignored the beggar named Lazarus who longed to eat the scraps that fell from the rich man’s table.
Eventually, both men died. The poor man was carried to the bosom of Abraham, while the rich man was carried to the abode of the dead where he was tormented. The rich man pleaded with Abraham to send the poor man to his five brothers lest they like him enter into this place of torment, but Abraham answered, “They have Moses and the prophets. Let them hear them. If they do not listen to Moses and the prophets, they will not be convinced even if one should arise from the dead.” (Luke 16; 29, 31)
I admit there have been times when I wondered about that story. How could Abraham be so sure the brothers would not listen? Who knows? It might have been that kind of musing that gave rise to Charles Dickens story of Scrooge in the “Christmas Carole”. Maybe if a messenger came from beyond the grave, the brothers would heed the warning.
However, as I stared at the piece of glass in my hand, I knew instinctively that it did not contain a divine message. And that’s the point of Jesus’ story. We have been given all we need to gain eternal life, which is God’s will for each of us. It doesn’t mean it will be easy, as the plight of the beggar in the story illustrates, it means we must have faith.
Having faith means believing that God is present in the unknowing, in the midst of struggles and doubts and on every step of the journey, even when we are not sure where we are going or how we will get there. Sometimes faith means living with ambiguity because faith is not about having the answer to every question or proof that God exists or that he loves us. Having faith means trusting in the hidden presence of God. As Jesus pointed out through the person of Abraham, eternal life will come to those who listen to the law of God and to the prophets
Having faith means that as long as we are open to the Holy Spirit, we can be sure that we will be guided along the right path. The fact is: a lack of certitude can lead people of faith to rely more deeply on the God we encounter in Word and Sacrament, the God who comes to us in mystery, and the God who speaks to us in the quiet of our heart.
Having faith is not about acknowledging a compository of beliefs, but about the way those beliefs inform our behavior. Faith is a lived experience, made visible not by clinging to signs and objects, but by showing compassion for one another because we believe that God loves them as much as he loves us. If I were to place my trust in a couple of letters on a piece of glass, it would be like practicing a form of idolatry.
When we live our faith day by day, regardless of the direction our life takes, we know that we are pleasing God because God’s Word tells us so. Depending on external signs or proof negates our need for faith. Were we can to hold the object of our faith in our hand, faith would no longer be needed, and it is faith after all, that dispels the darkness of doubt and sin.
Whenever I make discerning God’s will way too complicated, my mind is set to rest by a few lines from a prayer by Thomas Merton who wrote:
“My Lord and God, I have no idea where I am going… and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you and I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.”
Barbara Hughes, holds a Master’s Degree in Formative Spirituality from Duquesne University. A former psychiatric and hospice nurse, she is an experienced retreat facilitator and spiritual director,. Her articles on spirituality have been published nationally and internationally and she is a regular columnist for The Catholic Virginan. Her book, Ministry and the Mystical Path: Guide for Lay Ministers is an outgrowth of decades of ministry on the parish and diocesan level. She served as the Bishop’s Liaison to the Jewish and Muslim communities for southern Virginia from 2007-2010 and has been involved in interreligious dialogue since 2001. She is currently a member of the Franciscan covenant program.
About mission San Luis Rey De Francia
Old Mission San Luis Rey Cemetery is Oceanside cemetery, founded in 1798. The Mission is committed to taking care of the San Diego Cemetery as part of this National Historic Landmark. Contact us for San Diego Funeral Services . San Diego retreats Center at Old Mission San Luis Rey offers a place for solitude, healing, and revitalization with a wide variety of Spiritual retreats and educational programs.